New Words

So, I've decided to begin an altered book. I am going to use one of my old bibles - a King James, leatherbound bible to be specific. I've been mulling over what the subject could be and this morning I decided. It will be about 20 or so pages, each page dedicated to one of the following words that I desire to see expressed in my life: Creativity, Joy, Friendship, Competence, Peace of Mind, Physical Health, Spirituality, Sensuality, Material Comfort, Independence, Unique, Open-minded, Uninhibited, Joyful, Loving, Personable, Attractive, Productive, Expressive, Inspiring.

As I was compiling my list, I realized that these traits are positive. Now that in and of itself is not unusual, except that I have recently left Christian fundamentalism. These words contain none of the old berating, guilt-tripping dialogue. Prior to leaving fundamentalism, my list would have read: humble, patient, forgiving, kind, servant's heart, etc. Now, I realize that those words are also good traits, but for me they carry painful, negative connotations. Humility involves continually cutting myself down, never acknowledging anything positive about my person. Patience requires bearing with circumstance and people that are annoying and potentially harmful. Combine patience with humility and I have a recipe for abuse. Add to that the necessity of always forgiving those persons with whom I must exercise patience as I rake myself over the coals of guilt and you will have a small understanding of fundamentalism's approach to self-esteem.

Feel free to leave me any comments/ideas for my new book. I would love some good definitions, quotes, and images.