Monday, January 11, 2010

Written to me.

I picked up Julia Cameron's book Faith and Will this past weekend. I can hardly get through a paragraph without feeling like she's inside my soul writing about the landscape there and providing hope. I want to share two short paragraphs from this morning's reading.

"Very often when we think about what we would like to have happen in our lives, we cast ourselves very far forward and out of the day we are in. No wonder everything seems so impossible and so difficult. We cast ourselves far into the future where we stand alone and buffeted, wondering where God is.
God works in the day that we actually have going on. God's miracles are miniature daily miracles. They are miracles of evolution and miracles of prograss. They are the small miracles that add up to large miracles. They are tiny steps that lead us in the right direction. If we want to find God, we need first to find ourselves. That is where God is. Right with us."

I am by nature a dreamer and live projecting into the future. No wonder when I throw out my net to catch God, I come up empty many times. Live into today. That is enough.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Dreaded ponderings

I want dreadlocks. They seem cool, artsy and out there. I think they might be an easier way to take care of my curls. And then last week, I highlighted my hair with pink. Bright pink. It felt odd to catch a glimpse of myself in mirrors. A few peopled looked at me for a second too long. And I wondered if it looked like I had gotten drunk on New Year's and ended up with pink hair. I dyed it back. And now I wonder how I would do with dreads. Do I just love the idea of them? Can I deal with the 'stress' of being different than the culture around me? Is my spirit strong enough to express myself through dreads? Am I gentle enough and patient enough to deal with the questions and the stares? Just thinking out loud.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Beauty

When my students tell me they think their artwork is ugly, I usually respond that most art goes through an ugly stage before the beauty appears. Keep working. I need to add that shortcuts tend to skip over beauty. They want to be pragmatic - take the shortest path possible from assignment to completion. I understand. I am like this, too. I just want to solve the dilemma so life can be smooth again. No bumps or curves in the road.
This year I want to live into the struggles, sit beside the ugly and be at peace with taking the long road home. I want to reap the beauty of living fully into each moment. As Osho says, "When I say be creative, I don't mean that you should all go and become great painters and poets. I simply mean let your life be a painting, let your life be a poem."